Finalization Day

On Friday we spent the afternoon in the Seattle Superior Court making Miles legally a member of our family. 

We waited in the courthouse with other adoptive families and kept the boys happy by people watching out the windows.

 Sam and Miles, about to become brothers, wearing their matching outfits that Bub and Grandma got them for Christmas. 

 Patiently waiting his turn. 

 Our family was brought before a judge, asked some questions and declared a family!

We could not be happier. Miles is the perfect addition to our family and we are thrilled to have him forever!

Family Pictures

2 months

Miles is 2 months old and doing wonderfully. He is 12lbs and 22inches long. Generally he is getting up 2 times a night, hates car rides and bath time, loves to watch his big brother and smiles a lot.

We love this little boy and enjoy watching him grow and change.

Adoption Question and Answer

Do you have an open or closed adoption? Do you have contact with the birthmother/father?

Our birthmother requested a closed adoption meaning that any contact we have with her is through the agency. She requests pictures or letters and then we send said things to the agency to forward on to her. I would have loved to have more contact, but we believe this was her way of moving on and protecting herself from the emotional aspect of placing a child. As far as his birthfather goes, we have no knowledge of his whereabouts or have any interest in contacting him.

UPDATE: We are currently in contact through email with our birthmother and we love to be able to send her pictures of Miles and hear how she and her sweet daughter are doing. We are thankful for the opportunity to thank her and let her know how loved this little boy is!

What do you plan on telling Miles when he asks about his biological family and adoption?

I think that the most important thing an adopted child can know about their beginnings is that although their conception may have been an accident, their birth WAS NOT. His birthmother chose to give him life, and we chose to give him a life. This decision was made with a lot of love and selflessness on both ends. He will always know that he's adopted (I mean, hello! He's black, I'm white!) but he will not be loved any differently because of it. And it's amazing how true that is! We love him no differently than we do Sam and it's incredible how fast our love for him has grown these last few months.

What made you decide on adoption?

I have a rare disorder called NAIT that causes my body to fight pregnancies. To keep a pregnancy viable I would have to be put on immunoglobulin suppressants weekly which is basically a low dose of chemotherapy. Although these treatments have been proven to be successful for many women, we felt that the more safe and secure route would be to adopt. What we didn't know was how heartbreaking and emotional adoption can be as well! We went through a lot to bring Miles home, but we learned a lot of valuable lessons through out our journey.

How did you decide on the agency that you went through? Would you use them again?

We actually worked with a few agencies over the years that were unsuccessful for us. We were referred by a couple of friends to The Adoption Center of Choice in Utah because they needed more families willing to adopt African American babies and they had a very high placement rate. After all we had been through with failed placements, miscarriages and adoption scams, we were ready to take the financial plunge into a more sure agency. And although we are so grateful that we did, we will probably not go this route again simply because of the cost.

What do you know about his birth parents?

Matthew and I actually got to talk to our birthmother a lot and met her and her 3 year old daughter in Utah for dinner the night before her c-section. We love her and had an easy time visiting with her each time. She is African American, 23 years old, loves music and is a great mother to her daughter. We got to know her very well and have nothing but positive things to say about her when Miles is interested in knowing more.

As far as the birthfather is concerned we know very little about him. We were told that he is 47 years old, over 6 feet tall, muscular, African American and has 13 other children. He was not willing to give any support to our birthmother when he was told about the pregnancy which led her to research adoption.

How is Sam doing with the new baby?

Honestly, I think that Sam has adjusted to the new baby better than Matt and I have! He was so excited to get a little brother that any attention that he is now missing out on is worth it. He is constantly asking to hold "brother" and loves getting him to smile. So far so good!

Did you get to hold the baby right away or did you have to wait for the relinquishment time to pass?

We were so lucky to be invited into the OR during the c-section. It was amazing to be able to watch the birth of my son!! Our birthmother decided that she wanted Miles to be immediately placed in our arms and that she didn't want to see or hold the baby after birth. So, after he was cleaned and checked we were put into a small "nesting" room in the hospital where we got to hold, cuddle and nurse Miles only minutes after his birth. We spent the next 24 hours doing just that, and once the relinquishment time had passed (which in Utah is 24 hours after birth) we got to take our new baby home. (which meant we got to go back to the place we were staying while waiting for Utah to clear us to go back to our home state. We were lucky enough to be staying with family during our wait time.)

Will Miles get to meet his birthmother some day?

I hope so. I really do. I am very confident that Miles will know that we love him, and that we are his parents, and I do not feel threatened by him possibly wanting to meet her some day. I believe that he could learn a lot form her. I also think it would be amazing for him to meet his half sister (or any of his half siblings) some day, but it's completely his decision (and hers) and I support him either way. 

How is nursing going?

GREAT! I am so excited to still be nursing. (If you would like to know more about breastfeeding an adopted baby click HERE. )

We are still having to supplement with formula, but Miles is getting about 75% breast milk which makes me very proud. We are also very lucky to have a little boy who is a GREAT eater and could care less how the food is given. :)


Will you adopt again?

YES! No question, we want to adopt again and hope to do so very soon. We will be going through the process a little differently and have a much better attitude about it now that we know how amazing the end result can be.

Adoption Month

November is national Adoption Awareness month and the Aprecio family is very supportive of adoption!

I am opening up my blog to questions about adoption in general, Miles' adoption and/or our decision to adopt. Please, feel free to ask ANYTHING. We are very open and excited to share our adoption story with you. I will post the questions and answers on my blog early next week. 

Thanks!

These days

These days are amazing. And hard. And tiring. And fun. Sounds like I'm doing this parenting-two-needy-boys thing right, right!?

Miles is growing so fast and to be honest. I love it. As sweet and cuddly as newborns are, I love when they start to smile and interact a little more. I can tell we are getting closer to those days. And then I want time to stop for a while which probably won't happen.

We suspect that Miles has a milk intolerance and since we have changed his diet (and my diet. No cheese? What?) he has become a lot more comfortable during the day and sleeping better at night....most nights.

Sam is an amazing big brother and is constantly helping out. He grabs spit rags, helps with feedings and even asks to change diapers. It's quite the feeling watching these two together.

Things are CRAZY. But, this is the life we have hoped for for a long time and I am so glad to finally be living it!

Home

We are officially home! It feels amazing. 

Of course one of the things I was most looking forward to was getting my camera out and getting some sweet shots of Miles.

Oh, what a perfect little model I have!

One Week

(Sorry for all the instagram pics. I left my nice camera at home)

Miles is a week old. Wow, time is flying by. 

We are still awaiting clearance to leave Utah with him and I am getting more and more anxious to be home as the days go by. Matty, my Mom and Sam have all returned to Washington, and Miles and I are just semi-patiently waiting for the go-ahead. 

I am enjoying my alone time with "Mymy." He is such a chill baby. He is becoming more and more alert every day and loves to be talked to. 

He sleeps best while being held and although that will be a problem soon, I am soaking up the opportunity to cuddle. 

Miles has the longest arms and the strongest neck! He can already hold his head up and look around a room. It makes him seem so much older than he is. 

Last night was my first night alone with Miles. We did pretty good. He is still a little confused about when to be awake and when to sleep but we are working on it. 

This picture melts me, especially because when he smiles he reminds me of his amazing birthmother. I am so thankful for her, and especially grateful for this amazing little boy. 

I am feeling especially lucky today. How could I not?

Brothers

Sam's first words when seeing baby brother for the first time was, "Awww, he's so cute!"

We are so lucky that Sam has been as excited about a baby as we were. He has always said that he wanted to be a Daddy, and he has proven to be an amazing care giver so far. 

Sam loves to hold Miles and help feed him a bottle. He talks to him so sweetly and calls him "Mymy". Seeing these two together is a dream come true for all of us. 

My Mom pointed out that when you put "Sam" and "Miles" together you get "Samiles"

Smiles. So true. 

Breastfeeding my adopted son

A huge dream of mine since my first son was born was to nurse without stress! Sam was born sick and immediately put into the NICU and so we didn't really get into the swing of nursing until he was 2 months old. It was HARD.

When we decided to adopt, I did a lot of research to find out what it would take to be able to nurse an adopted child. We were thrilled when we were matched with a birthmother that was due in 2 months, just enough time to prep for my milk supply.

I started by taking Fenugreek 3 times a day and drinking Mothers Milk Tea every morning. You can find both of these at GNC. I was also trying my best to drink a beer every day, a good stimulator for milk supply, but I am not of fan of any beer. Some GNC's carry a hops and barley pill, but I never started taking either of those.

After a week of Fenugreek and MMTea, I started to pump with a hospital grade Medela pump.

NOT FUN. But I kept reminding myself that it would be worth it.

I started pumping every 3 hours during the day. After about a week I was starting to get beads of colostrum, but never enough to freeze it.

After a month of Fenugreek, MMT and pumping colostrum, I started to get a clear fluid. At this point I also started Domperidone, a medication not FDA approved in the US, but I was able to bum it off a friend who has a prescription in Canada. Here are some websites where you can learn more about the drug and order a generic brand.

http://www.inhousepharmacy.biz/p-17-motilium.aspx
http://www.lowmilksupply.org/domperidone-obtain.shtml
http://www.canadadrugpharmacy.com/buy-domperidone-online.asp
http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/domperidonewhere.shtml#sthash.379UR7FG.dpbs

About 4 weeks before our adopted baby was born I was taking 3 Fenugreek and 5 Dom (50mg) 3 times a day. I was also pumping every 3 hours during the day, 2 times at night.

After a week I started producing milk!

The biggest difference with this route is that your milk doesn't really "come in" as it would after a birth. For me it came in slowly, gradually improving supply over the next few weeks. When my son was born on Wednesday, I was producing 1oz out of both breasts. That may not seem like a lot, but it is enough for a newborn and what an amazing experience it is to be able to nurse a baby that I didn't carry.  Totally worth the work! And lucky for me, Miles is a PRO at breastfeeding.

A quote I read when I was researching said to "expect to be able to nurse your adopted baby, not to breastfeed them." My baby is only 4 days old at this point, and although we have had to supplement a few feedings with formula, things are working out great. I am still on my pill regimen and I pump every time I feed him a bottle in hopes that my milk supply will improve as he grows.

What I have to remember, is that there is more to nursing than feeding and the bonding is so important.

UPDATE: At 4 weeks old I went ahead and pumped instead of feeding and found out that I was producing 4 oz of BM a feeding. This was on 60mg (3Xa day) and 3 Fenugreek (3X a day). Unfortunately this was the most I was able to produce and as Miles grew and became more needy, I started to have to supplement more. However, I am still so proud to say that things worked out so well for us and I feel so strong for getting through the worst of it all to be able to have this experience.

Well, back to the newbie! He's quite demanding.

Miles Matthew Aprecio

He is finally here.

Matthew and I arrived in Utah on Tuesday, just in time to have a wonderfully fun dinner with our birthmother and her daughter. We spent the evening laughing and learning about each other. It was a time I will never forget and we will cherish it forever.

We got to the hospital early on Wednesday morning for the scheduled C-Section. I was lucky to be in the operating room with our birthmother and I did my best to comfort her and I thanked her over and over again, knowing I would never be able to even out the debt.

At 7:38 Miles was born screaming a perfect little cry. I melted, and tears of joy were shed by me and tears of sadness were cried by her. It was very emotional, and his cry only made it harder for her so we left the room and finished up his cleaning and care in the nursery where we met Daddy for the first time.

He weighed in at 7lbs 5oz and 19" long. He's a stocky, healthy boy with a very calm demeanor.

Miles was immediately handed over to us and I was able to nurse him within the first hour of his life. It was magical! He is a GREAT eater and perfect nurser. I can't stress that enough!

The first 2 days were spent in the hospital in a small room outside of the nursery. I'm fairly certain he was never put down. We snuggled him every chance we got.

I got to talk a little to our birthmom on Wednesday afternoon. She seemed to be doing well and was curious to hear more about the baby. She had decided that it would be too hard to see him, and stuck to her plan. She was (and is) so strong. We feel so lucky to have met her and I could not find a better example of strength and selflessness if I tried.

On Thursday afternoon, after all the paperwork was signed, our healthy boy was discharged from the hospital. Getting him "home" and showing him off to my Utah family was so fun, and we have really enjoyed every moment we have had with him.

Our first night, although exhausting, was wonderful. The bonds that happen in the middle of the night are irreplaceable. Miles let me sleep for 4 hours between feedings and didn't mess around when it was time to nurse.

Today we got out a little and visited the pediatrician. Everything is perfect! We are so proud of our littlest and our adoption could not have gone more smoothly. What an experience!

Tomorrow Miles gets to meet Grandma and big brother and I am pretty sure it will be the most amazing experience of my life to have all my boys together!

Our "adventure" themed nursery

We are officially ready to welcome baby brother into his room! 

I had WAY too much fun designing this nursery. 

These we're Sam's first shoes and I am so glad that we saved them.

These are images of some of the 7 wonders of the world. (Machu Pichu, the Pyramids, The Great Wall, Jesus in Rio and the Taj Mahal)

On the wall opposite of the crib is a map of the world. (No, it's not perfect but it was not easy painting this freehand! I am actually very happy with how it turned out. So don't be complaining about how giant Cuba is, please.) The hearts represent places where our family members were born, including our baby boy!

These little suitcases are perfect for holding blankets and toys. 

 I painted this canvas to look like "Paradise Falls" from the movie "UP" since it has a travel theme and is one of our favorite movies. 

The hot air balloons are made from construction paper and wire. I love how these turned out. (Thanks to Pinterest!)

 We are so happy that we have loads of hand-me-downs from big brother. Our amazing birthmother also sent us a box full of baby clothes so we are so prepared!

 Now, all we need is our little boy!

Getting ready

I wouldn't want my life any other way.

Excitement and extreme anxiety make for fast days and deep sleeps. The days as a family of four are quickly approaching and although you can never be ready for a newborn, we are as close as we could possibly be.

We have our tickets booked, his closet full, a room ready and a very prepared family. This is what we have been anticipating for way too long.

Throughout our adoption journey we have met many amazing people, but no one quite as incredible as our birthmother who I will call, for privacy purposes, Angel. She has continued to impress us with her selflessness and pure compassion towards everyone who meets her. She has calmed our fears and changed our lives for the better. She is exactly the person this fragile family needed.

But, this journey is still hard. (Before you think me negative, please see first sentence of this post.) The emotional aspect of adoption is something no one can prepare you for. The anxiety of all the feelings still to come is heavy. I have fears about the birth, the days before relinquishment and seeing Angel for the last time. I will forever feel in debt to this person, yet I will never be able to thank her again. I know that raising this little boy to the best of our ability is exactly that, but I want to prove to her forever that this was the right decision and that this little boy will be loved fully. It's hard.

But it's also so great, isn't it?!

We ARE thrilled. Counting down the days (16!) until we get to hold that little boy in our arms and say "We have waited so long for you!" Sam is preparing for the days by bottle feeding his stuffed animals and painting pictures for baby brother. He has explained that he will help with wet diapers, but poopy ones are just too gross. Everyone around us hears of our "baby boy" from Sam and they can all see how excited he is to be a big brother. He's seriously going to be the greatest. I can not wait to introduce them to each other, which is sure to be one of the most amazing moments of my life.

Things are going as they should and in a couple of weeks this blog will be filled with "baby's firsts" and so many pictures that you will pray for my camera to die.

I can hardly wait!

Pre-K 2nd Year

Sam started another year of Pre-K. This year he is in an afternoon class (we are NOT morning people) but he's excited that he already has friends in his class and he picked the "pretty teacher." (his words)

So much has changed since last year but the biggest change has been his love for art. He is all about creating now and I am so excited to see some of the projects he comes home with this year.

(Below is his first day last year. So little!)

Surprise!

I got a call yesterday from our social worker in Utah.

"I want to talk to you about what the Dr found during an ultrasound."

My heart sunk. I feel like a gazillion scary possibilities flashed through my mind in the 2 seconds that it took for her to continue.

"Based on everything the Dr found today, the baby is a boy."

A BOY! A heathy, growing baby boy. No health concerns, no problems, but a boy.

Wait, not a girl?
We finally settled on a name.
I have been pinning hair products and braiding how to's for days!
We have pink and purple dresses and a gorgeous golden nursery planned.

But it's a boy!?

"Your birthmother is concerned that this will change your mind."

I explained to our social worker that we were only shocked at the change in gender and not disappointed. Nothing could make us feel any different about this baby being ours.

Only now we will be swimming in a lot less pink.

We are thrilled! A little brother for Sammy. He knew all along. He wished and wished for a brother even after we told him the baby was a girl (or so we thought!) When I told him that the baby was indeed a little boy he said, "I know, Mom. I was right."

Perfect.

He even had a name picked out from the get go and it will be so fun to tell our sweet baby boy, your big brother picked your name.

Although we were ecstatic for a little girl, we are equally excited for our little boy to arrive. We have a lot of items to return, and I'll be pushing aside my designs for "HER" beautiful nursery, but I am excited to bring home a little man who was always meant to be a part of our family.

Can't wait to see this cute foot in October!

A light at the end of the tunnel.

It's no secret that we have struggled to adopt for the past two years. It's been a long and very emotional journey.

Thankfully, we are almost done.

Hopefully.

The heartbreaking part of adoption is that nothing is final until it is. And that's usually not until at least 24 hours after the baby is born. Most people keep their match a secret until placement but because of all the support and help we have had from friends and family, we felt that we needed to be open about our amazing news to share with those who have journeyed with us.

Although anything can happen, and we have experienced it all before, we are very positive that this little girl will be placed in our arms come October.

Over the past couple years we have been in touch with an adoption agency out of Utah that houses and cares for birthmothers throughout their pregnancy. The amazing thing about this direction is that you will not be scammed, the birthmothers are heathy and supported and placement chances are higher. The negative side is the cost.

After all we had been through taking the "inexpensive route", we were ready to take the plunge into the more "sure" and safe waters. We started our adoption fund to help out with the fees and moved forward with The Adoption Center of Choice.

A few weeks ago we were presented a birthmother profile that seemed promising. She had great health, sounded very strong and was looking for a family like ours. We asked for our information to be sent to her. Not even 2 hours later we got a call that she wanted to talk to our family. And ONLY our family.

It was hard not to get excited, but we stayed calm. After all, we have had our fair share of the word "no" and so we prepared ourselves for the same answer once again.

When we spoke to her our worries were drained from our hearts.

This was it.

She was easy to talk to, understanding, very positive and exactly the person we hoped we would be matched with.

Soon we heard the words we had been waiting so long for. "She has picked your family."

To say that we are excited would be an understatement. Although we still hold on to some concerns that have been caused by previous disappointments, we are feeling so sure and ready to bring this little girl home. We have started to prepare and can hardly wait to bring her back to all the wonderful people who have helped bring this amazing baby into our family.

We are so touched and extremely humbled by all the help that we have been offered.

If you would like to help support and care for our birthmother and assist in bringing home our "Little Sunshine", as Sam has been calling her, check out our fund at www.adopttogether.org/mattandholly

More updates to come!!