Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Getting ready

I wouldn't want my life any other way.

Excitement and extreme anxiety make for fast days and deep sleeps. The days as a family of four are quickly approaching and although you can never be ready for a newborn, we are as close as we could possibly be.

We have our tickets booked, his closet full, a room ready and a very prepared family. This is what we have been anticipating for way too long.

Throughout our adoption journey we have met many amazing people, but no one quite as incredible as our birthmother who I will call, for privacy purposes, Angel. She has continued to impress us with her selflessness and pure compassion towards everyone who meets her. She has calmed our fears and changed our lives for the better. She is exactly the person this fragile family needed.

But, this journey is still hard. (Before you think me negative, please see first sentence of this post.) The emotional aspect of adoption is something no one can prepare you for. The anxiety of all the feelings still to come is heavy. I have fears about the birth, the days before relinquishment and seeing Angel for the last time. I will forever feel in debt to this person, yet I will never be able to thank her again. I know that raising this little boy to the best of our ability is exactly that, but I want to prove to her forever that this was the right decision and that this little boy will be loved fully. It's hard.

But it's also so great, isn't it?!

We ARE thrilled. Counting down the days (16!) until we get to hold that little boy in our arms and say "We have waited so long for you!" Sam is preparing for the days by bottle feeding his stuffed animals and painting pictures for baby brother. He has explained that he will help with wet diapers, but poopy ones are just too gross. Everyone around us hears of our "baby boy" from Sam and they can all see how excited he is to be a big brother. He's seriously going to be the greatest. I can not wait to introduce them to each other, which is sure to be one of the most amazing moments of my life.

Things are going as they should and in a couple of weeks this blog will be filled with "baby's firsts" and so many pictures that you will pray for my camera to die.

I can hardly wait!


Kerri Smead said...

SOOOO excited for you and your boys. And the name starts with an M? Can't wait to find out what Sam named is baby brother. Congrats!

merideth said...

oh my goodness!! so close now... soon it will be like her never wasn't there! can't wait to see pics.

Anonymous said...

We don't know each other, but I stumbled across your blog earlier this year and I want to tell you that I'm so happy that your story will have a joyful ending. I'm so happy for you and your family. Your little boy sounds like he will be a great big brother!