I had a doctors appointment today that left me feeling really emotional. I am not 100% why, but maybe putting things down in words will help me work things out in my head...
My cervix, or "the enemy" as I like to refer to it, is still closed. I am having painful contractions at least every 15 minutes, but they are not working in the way that they should be. I have not progressed for 3 weeks now, and the Dr is a little concerned about a few things.
First off, the size of the baby is a "huge" factor. Today while listening to his heart rate, the Dr noticed that he could actually hear the valves opening and closing which means that the baby is large, and fully developed. The concern he has is that the baby will grow too big for a vaginal delivery.
Second, is my blood pressure and water retention. I am getting higher and higher each week, and my feet, hands and face are getting more and more swollen. Compared to most pregnant women I am not horrible, but for MY normal numbers, I am high.
Third of course, is the baby. Dr says that larger babies that go over their due date have a higher chance of problems or still births. Considering my body is not showing any signs of going into labor by my due date, I will be overdue come Friday, so we need to get the baby out as soon as possible.
So, we have scheduled an induction.
This was music to my ears, but for a few different reasons he has put it off until next week. I am supposed to be monitoring the baby's movements and activity carefully, and taking it easy this next week since complications can come with being overdue and I am measuring 6 weeks ahead of schedule.
The plan is as follows: I check into the hospital on Wednesday the 29th (is there a better place to spend your wedding anniversary?) at 4:30pm for what they call a "Cervical Ripening". I will spend the night in the hospital where they will give me gel capsules of prostaglandin every hour for 12 hours or until my cervix is dilated/effaced enough to start the induction. Then Thursday morning, I will be started on Pitocin in hopes that this will induce labor and I will be able to deliver "The Hulk" without complications.
I am not looking forward to spending so much time in the hospital, and I don't like the fact that the night before labor I will not have slept well or eaten for 12 hours. Although I am so excited to finally have my baby, I am a little hesitant about it ending this way. I know I need to be thankful and excited for this, and again, I am not really sure why I am feeling so indifferent about it. I am hoping and praying that something happens before the 29th, but I am going to just try and enjoy this last week of having the baby and my husband all to myself.
So why the tears every time I think about todays appointment? I have no idea. I am tired, uncomfortable and I weigh more than I ever imagined I could so maybe its just the fact that my brain isnt fuctioning well enough to console my worries. I have no energy, little appetite and I am so ready for this baby to come that I dream about it every time I fall asleep. Could it be that I am finally experiencing pregnancy hormones? Again, I am at a loss for reasons. But, I need to keep a positive attitute and realize that I am only 1 week away from holding my son. This fact does make me feel a little better, and I also know he will be so worth all of this stress.
Oh Baby Sam, you are definitely a Taurus-They love a peaceful calm environment and they are stubborn about not wanting things to change.