Sunday, January 27, 2013

Weekend woes

During our adoption process we have had a few disappointments and hard lessons. But this weekend was by far the hardest experience we have had in our journey so far.

(The sky on Friday night)

Friday morning we got the call that we have been waiting for. 

A birthmother had given birth the night before and we had been chosen to adopt TWIN boys.
Elated, we prepared for our trip to Colorado to pick up and bring home the tiny babies. Car seats, preemie clothes, diapers, formula and even names. We were ready for our dreams to finally be coming true.

Then the birthmother stopped answering her phone. 

We waited around all day Saturday hoping for a call. Nothing. 
Our adoption agent had left numerous messages but none had been returned. 

Discouragement set in. 

Still, we waited all night. 

Today we got the call that we were fearing, but expecting. The birthmother had been discharged and had taken the boys home with her. 

We are heartbroken. Frustrated. Tired. Sad. 

Its been a tough day. 

I returned all of the baby items this afternoon hoping it would be therapeutic, a way to put an end to this chapter. I can't say it helped, but it needed to be done. 

Then we took Sam out to the Children's Museum to get our minds off of things but there were babies and bellies everywhere. At least Sam had fun. 

We will heal. Hopefully those boys will be cared for as well as we would have. We will try again. I will continue to pine for little babies. Matt will continue to assure me that it will happen one day. Sam will go on calling his dogs his brother and sister. 

For now, anyway. 


Colton said...

I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to say. I can't say that that hurts me, because my pain is obviously nothing compared to yours. I don't want to brush it off, because it was a real thing that happened to you and I can't just ignore it. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and everything will work out!

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Kylee said...

I am so sorry! My heart breaks for you guys. I have had friends experience similar things and it is so hard. Enjoy what you do have and eat lots of chocolate. It always helps me! :)

merideth said...

oh holly i am so sorry. i can't even imagine. you will get a baby and it will be such a lucky baby to have you three!! keep hoping! when it happens it will be right and perfect and you won't want it any other way.
i just hope that is sooner than later.

Nicole said...

Im so sorry for this dissapointment but God has somthing in the works for you and your future babies. Sometimes its not always what WE want but what HE wants. God bless you guys and Ill be praying for you.

Anonymous said...

I have been following your blog and I truly hope and pray that you and your family will have a new addition in your family soon. The long, long wait will indeed be worthwhile.