Thursday, September 13, 2012

Our Adoption so Far

I belong to a Facebook page for NAIT mothers. I have been asked to share my experience and reasoning behind adoption, and I thought that this was worthy of a blog post.

First and foremost I would like to explain why we chose to adopt.

When Sam was born with NAIT, the doctors that we worked with knew practically nothing about the disorder. They all studied very hard to be able to give us as much information as possible, but it just didn't feel like we knew the best route for having another biological child.

We met with a Neonatal specialist about our hopes of having more children and he explained the treatments, side effects and chances of delivering a normal platelet baby.

He gave us a very positive outlook, but for some reason it still never felt right to me.

Fears took over and I started to think about adoption.

The more I thought about it, the more "right" it started to feel. I feel so lucky to have our healthy son Sam, but I realized that it wasn't all that important for me to have more biological children. I knew that I could love another life without carrying it in my womb.

I spoke to friends and researched adoption on the internet. It slowly took over my thoughts and soon enough it was all I could think about.

Which leads us to where we are now.

We are currently a "waiting family" with an agency called "Everlasting Adoptions." So far our experience has been phenomenal and the staff has been amazing at helping us through our journey. It is a domestic agency meaning we will adopt within the United States.

Check out our profile HERE.

There are so many agencies out there and just as many ways of going about adoption. There is the State program, which usually starts you off as a foster home, Domestic programs which are within the country you live or International Adoption which is throughout many of the areas of the world. You can adopt a newborn, special needs child or a foster child. There are positive and negatives to each of these adoption paths. You have to decide for yourself what is the best direction for your family.

We chose Everlasting for a few reasons. We interviewed about 10 agencies and when it came down to it, this agency worked best for our family.

Reason #1-The staff was really open to spending hours on hours talking to us, answering questions and learning about our family. They never seem put out or frustrated with any of our concerns or hesitations. We never felt like we were being "sold" something. Each member of the staff is an adoptive mother so they understand the journey first hand. 

#2 - The cost. Our 2 year contract includes an online profile set up (the link above), advertising for our family and a mail out booklet about us that is sent to birthmothers. There is no money given to the birthmothers through Everlasting adoption. 

Many agencies pay for the birth mothers medical care or housing costs throughout her pregnancy. This can be very expensive, but you do have more control of the health of the mother and your future child. (Not to mention the chances of relinquishment are lower.) If you have the means, in my opinion, an agency that offers this is the best choice. The chances of you getting a healthy baby are much higher. 

Our agency does not offer this, but once you are in touch with a birth mother, you can request her to get tested and offer her any care you feel necessary. We felt comfortable with the freedom that Everlasting gave us in this department. 

#3 - Everlasting only allows 6 families to join the program every month. This keeps the number of families down so that your chances are higher of bringing home a baby sooner. This also allows the agency to have a smaller staff so that you actually build a relationship with the agents rather than speak to someone new each time you have a concern. 

#4 - This agency also allows you to chose your own legal team, meaning that you are not required to use a lawyer or home study agent that they give you. This is good for any family that has any contacts in either of those fields. 

#5 - Everlasting only adopts out of 44 states. Those states have a 72 hour relinquishment requirement meaning that the birthmother must make a decision and sign the legal paperwork within 72 hours of the baby being born. The other 6 states have a 30 day relinquishment. So, you could take your newborn home and then 30 days later hear from the birthmother that she wants her baby back. Don't do that to yourself! Make sure you know the relinquishment time in the state you are adopting out of.

#6 - This agency allows you to chose between a closed adoption, semi-open or open adoption. The terms are entirely between you and the birthmother. 

This is our first time adopting and we haven't even brought a baby home yet so I understand that there is much more to learn about adoption. But I hope that this gives a little better understanding to the system and why we chose to take this route.

I would love to answer any questions about getting ready to adopt and I really do feel strongly about it being an amazing experience. I am so excited to go further in this journey!

"Love comes from service, not genetics."

Here are some links that really assisted me in deciding on an agency.

Agency reviews:

All there is to know!

A few of our favorite agencies


merideth said...

so excited for you both! can't wait to see another baby added to your family.

Kylee said...

You guys are great. Thanks for sharing your adoption experiences so far! We hope the best for you guys! Adoption is an incredible blessing!!

Anonymous said...

How is the process coming? We're looking into Everlasting Adoptions ourselves. Thanks.